On endings and beginnings. . .

Posted by Adam

I’m excited. I honestly am. While today marks the end of one era for me, it also signals the beginning of some really exciting things. For the last few weeks, I’ve been in limbo. During that time, I’ve spent quite a bit of time thinking about where I’ve been, where I’m at, and where I’m going. I particularly excited to be taking you on this journey with me. It should be fun.

Purpose Discovered
I want to tell you a little bit about where I’ve been. A story that I don’t think I’ve told many people, or that I haven’t told fully to anyone. . .

When I started, it had a lot to do with where I was in my life. 2016 was a tough year for me. In 2015, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. I spent much of 2014 and 2015 being quite ill. In fact, when Kari and I were married in 2014, I was at one of my lowest weights, and a flare-up basically stole our entire honeymoon. In 2016, we made the decision to have my colon removed. It was a tough decision, but it was the only way I would be cured.

So, I went to the Mayo Clinic with Kari and my Mom in March of 2016 for the first of two surgeries. It was the most difficult experience I have ever had to endure. It was also the moment of one of my biggest mistakes.

If you look back at the archives of this site, you will notice that they don’t begin until May of 2016. That wasn’t because there were no blog posts prior to that time, because there were. I just erased them. That was a major mistake.

I did it because I didn’t want people to know what was going on. I did it because I didn’t want to share with people what I was going through. I didn’t think anyone would care. I didn’t think it was worth it. It is a mistake that I regret very much to this very day. In fact, it is really the only regret I can remember in my entire life.

If I had it to do over again, I would have blogged as much as I could have. I would have blogged from the hospital, if I could have. I definitely would have blogged during the two months I spent gingerly moving between my bed and my couch as I recovered.

I know that sharing that experience would have helped me. I know that it would have helped my family. I know that it would have helped a lot of other people.

After the surgery and recovery, blogging was just what I needed. It was something to keep me occupied. It was something to keep me going. I needed my blog every day just as much as my blog needed me.

That was was the place I was in when I had the second of the two surgeries in July of 2016. In fact, you can read what I wrote the day before we returned to the Mayo Clinic. Once again, I didn’t tell anyone what was going on. I had made the mistake once, then I managed to make it again.

After I came back home and started blogging again, recovering from the surgery gave me a chance to think about where I was and what I was doing. I decided that the surgery and recovery marked a major change in my life. I decided that I needed to somehow express this change. Since I wasn’t blogging about the surgery experience itself, the only thing I could change was what I was already expressing.

Related Post

Leave A Comment